We decided since we just finished a book that was made into a movie we’d have a slumber party and watch the movie. It was a rough week leading up to this slumber party. I decided we needed junk food, and lots of it. I said we could each pick a “thumbs down” food to share, some kind of yummy awfulness we almost never eat. I spent the week doing extra workouts and looking forward to donuts or cupcakes, cookies or pudding or red vines. I did not care what Keta and Francine chose. It was going to be all good! I was wrong. Francine asked if she could choose healthy stuff instead. She was torn between plain potato chips and grapes. Grapes. We love grapes. We have grapes all the time. We also love cupcakes. We almost never have cupcakes and I wonder with options like salt and vinegar why anyone would choose plain potato chips. I was disappointed with her decision to go ahead and get both grapes and plain chips but I still had hope that Keta would come through for me and choose some overly sweet something I’d almost instantly regret eating. She didn’t. She chose pizza with extra veggies so it wasn’t “quite so much thumbs down.” I was forced to miss part of the movie to wash dishes which I didn’t do. Instead I was sneaking a spoonful of almond butter and chocolate chips thinking how much smarter my six year olds are than me.
We “volunteer” at the shelter every week, meaning K and F read while loving on some cats or a dog.
Francine turned 6.
There’s a new Farmer girl. She’s “well past 14” and fits right in!
A few future black belts?
Showing Bibi the dino prints.
Life is good.
As Keta and Francine become better aquatinted with the English language they make fewer of these funny and entertaining mistakes so, sadly, this could be the last one of these I do.
aim-chimpt echimpt = ancient Egypt
Princess Parapatra = Cleopatra, both K and F want to be for Halloween
rufus = ruthless, how we sometimes play marbles
eleventy-three = 113
Nancy Drool = Nancy Drew
Junie B. Jones = that lovable character in children’s books
Junie B. Jones = Jimmy Johns, the new sandwich shop in our town
Charlie Wompa = Willie Wonka
booby tracks = booby traps
get the heck out of dogs = get the heck out of Dodge
brat-roast = bratwurst
bratlers = bratwurst
buckwheat = bok choy
buck chop = bok choy
buck celery = bok choy
this leafy greenish stuff = bok choy
stick thing with fluff on it = make-up brush
pazoo = kazoo
teen-five = 15
perfavume = perfume
Parents of children who can often not be very far from you, I know you’d likely never do something like give your 5 and 6 year olds walkie talkies, but there might be someone in your lives who would. Someone maybe like a granddad. Or someone else maybe. It’ll be the granddad. Anyway, when this happens, stall as long as possible claiming to not have the right size of batteries and then, oh no, you forgot to pick them up at the store. Again. Sorry. When you can stall no longer and finally give in to the inevitable yet nonspecific torture that will follow you’ll find the batteries really weren’t needed anyway. One child will be at one end of the hall and the other at the other end near the front door. You cannot escape to either end or the middle of the house and you know if you go downstairs or outside you’ll be followed. You suggest walkie talkies are so much more fun when you cannot see the other person so maybe one should go in the front yard and one in the back or maybe one in the back in the playhouse and the other in the back somewhere else, like on the patio or maybe even both of you in the playroom downstairs. It’s important to be specific but in such a way they think it’s all their idea. This of course will be rejected but they turn around so they can no longer see one another. Thanks mama, it is more fun when we can’t see each other. And it begins.
CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?
YES, I CAN HEAR YOU!!!!
MAMA, THEY REALLY WORK! I CAN HEAR HER!!
So can everyone else on the block.
This amazement and wonder will continue for some time. You’ll be laughing or crying by now. You’ll give a short lesson on when to push the button and when to not push the button and there’s no need to shout.
CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? DID YOU PUSH YOUR BUTTON? YOU NEED TO UNPUSH YOUR BUTTON!!
Now they’re still shouting and both at the same time. Again, this continues for some time. It’s a blast.
Lesson number 2 includes a refresher of lesson 1 and some new stuff like saying something specific when you’re done so the other person knows you’re done and that so important pause before you push the button and start shouting and one more thing, you don’t need to shout.
Once the newness wears off a bit they’re comfortable enough to be out of your sight so now one will be in the bedroom while the other is in the family room. The shouting will continue. Nothing can be done about the shouting. Embrace the shouting. Eventually the one in the bedroom will be distracted and completely forget about the walkie talkie. This will cause the other to shout louder and louder when there’s no response. You’ll have hope at this point she’ll think the walkie talkie is broken and become completely distracted too. That won’t happen. Remind yourself to laugh. It really is funny that the loudest these two have ever been is when they’re eight feet away from one another using walkie talkies. And they’re happy. So it’s all good. There’s no way to get even with the granddad, but think of it as one of those pay it forward situations. It’s pretty funny now, but it will be so much funnier when it’s your grandkids.