07
Nov
12

absurdly normal

Lately I’ve been kind of surprised how normal this new life is.  How can going from zero kids one minute to two the next seem normal?  It’s especially crazy when I consider that the two kids are no longer babies and they’re from the other side of the world and have no idea what family is and have never had books or crayons or dolls or a pair of shoes that fit.  Then there’s the language barrier.  Also, they were just handed to me.  I don’t think anyone explained to them what was going on at all, they were just handed to a complete stranger.  About six months later, life is so absurdly normal for us.  How is that possible?  I think at first Keta thought if she screamed loud enough and for enough hours in the day, she might be sent back to the known.  She has shared with me how scary that first day was for her, how scared of me she was.  I know she must have been past terrified, she even seemed a little nervous at first to share with me what she felt that day, and my heart breaks for her.  What did that moment do to her?  That moment she realized she was going to be abandoned, again, how did that change her?  She was totally powerless and resigned to be at the mercy of this next new person.  She remembers the drive to the hotel, likely the first time she was in a car, like it happened earlier today.  Both Keta and Francine remember what I was wearing.  We talk about how happy people who knew them were that day, the day they got their mama.  We also talk about their first mamas and we’re sad we can’t know more about them.  The next minute we’re talking about how silly Milo is or how funny that song is, and we’re laughing.  Somehow it all seems so normal.

Keta, being a little older and just having the type of personality she has, remembers and has told me some things, just out of the blue.  “Gambo Manunga no have water inside” as she’s helping me rinse dishes or wash her hands.  “One house for all the lots of kids” as we color a picture for Bibi.  “No dolls, no books, no crayons, no ANY toys at Gambo Manunga’s.”  She’s not complaining about how it was or marveling about how it is now, she just says it.  Almost like it’s crazy how normal everything was and even though it’s so different now, this is so normal too.  Even though it seems so normal, this whole adoption journey is much more profound and complex than any amount of reading or research or classes or conversations could have prepared me for, much more amazing and wonderful too and in ways I never imagined, but that’s for another post.

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6 Responses to “absurdly normal”


  1. 1 Kim
    November 7, 2012 at 5:13 pm

    Beautiful! I had tears at the end of this post. I so admire you and love reading of your journey (continued). I am so happy that all of you were specially put together. It was meant to be. I can’t wait to hear what they think of Thanksgiving and Christmas.

  2. 3 Bibi
    November 7, 2012 at 7:32 pm

    What a beautiful post – it made me cry, but it also fed my continual awe of these precious, brave little girls. They are so amazing and we are so blessed to have them as our family. I don’t remember what you were wearing that first day, but I do remember how tiny and scared they looked as they were climbing all those steps up to meet their new mama and new Bibi. My heart aches at all they have been through but my heart is also filled with joy and awe at your new “normal”. We are blessed!

  3. 5 lindsayolives
    November 8, 2012 at 4:50 pm

    I love Keta & Francine, aren’t we so lucky to be part of their new normal?!? You have some amazing little girls there! I hope we get to see you guys soon. All our love – The Ps


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