07
Sep
13

so. what.

I get it. My family is not like most. There’s a mama but not a daddy. There’s kiddos who have a first mama that’s not me. I get it. I know we’re not what people see everyday. They are mine though and I am theirs and when we’re at the park and I hear you saying they’re not mine and I hear you hating us for no reason, no real reason anyway, be glad I’m certain my kiddos can’t hear you. Yep, MY kids have brown skin. SO. WHAT. They have brown skin and I do not. SO. WHAT. Hating us for that? Hating two sweet, innocent little girls, for that? I really don’t get it. I’ve never understood it, that hatred, but now I have people hating my kids. I know it’s a conversation we’ll have to have, but how do you explain to your children that some people will just hate them for no reason? They’ll be alright, my two strong, brave girls, but that their gorgeous brown skin and beautiful tight curls will be reason enough for people to hate them, I don’t get it at all.

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10 Responses to “so. what.”


  1. 1 kim
    September 7, 2013 at 5:20 pm

    Hate the hatred! Hate the ignorance! I witnessed it this week with one of me clients. Lucky for the person I didn’t let my thoughts manifest. Your girls are lucky to have a mama bear that will teach about peoples ignorance so they can and will rise above it

    • September 8, 2013 at 7:47 am

      I found your blog by stumbling along the web and consider myself fortunate to have done so. I have just been on the outside, looking in and enjoying your story. Your intelligence in dealing with bonding issues and your patience, dedication and love are an uplifting read for me. I am sorry you are encountering this attitude in some people; I think many don’t “get it” when it comes to skin color because they don’t get a lot of things in life – like physics – and rely on prejudice to make them feel superior. And, of course, some many just be mean-spirited and use anything to get digs in.

      I am 65; I wish you all well and like to envision your future 40 years from now with a family gathering of laughter and warm memories. Maybe one day you will watch your family – daughters, sons-in-law, grandkids filling your house on a holiday and remember a old white lady who cheered you on.

      • September 8, 2013 at 8:03 pm

        Thank you so much for your kind comment! I know that more people feel like you do than like the gentleman in the park. People who hate do it pretty loudly sometimes though. I needed a quiet supporter to send a smile our way, so thanks again!

    • September 8, 2013 at 8:00 pm

      We will rise above it. Just caught me off guard!

  2. 5 Erick
    September 8, 2013 at 7:47 pm

    I sure hope that guy is at the park sometime when I take them over there to play. Very nice message from the lady who replied earlier. There are more kind people like her than the small minded idiot at the park

    • September 8, 2013 at 8:09 pm

      I know there will always be people who feel like that man in the park, but that was a first for us. You’re right about there being more kind people than small minded idiots. Sadly, they are sometimes drowned out by the not kind ones. We’ll focus on the good and be alright!

  3. 7 Mary (Weber) Craig
    September 8, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    For all of the wonderful things our small town has to offer, there are a few negatives. I’m so sorry that people feel the need to judge and hate. Just know that the majority of us think you are amazing and your girls are absolutely stunning.
    I have been following your blog for over a year now and I find myself waiting and waiting for new posts and new photos.
    I was so excited to be at home for the fair and spotted the girls with your dad and I was in awe of their beauty. As beautiful as they are in photos they are ten times as amazing in person. I have to admit that I was a little star-struck! I wanted to go and say hello but they were having such a nice time noshing on their BBQ that I just enjoyed watching from afar.
    I truly hope that this hatred stops but I’m also sure it probably won’t. Just remember for all of those who don’t understand there are many more who do and are amazed by the bravery of all three of you!!

    • September 12, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      Thanks for your comment! While I know far more people are supportive or don’t even give us a second thought it was still very sad. Each time I have to guarantee to my girls that we are indeed family they get a bit closer to truly believing it though. So, it was that, an opportunity to stand together as a strong family.
      I think they’re pretty cute too! I don’t know how I got the two smartest and most beautiful girls. 😉 Please say hello next time you see us (or them) out and about!
      Thanks again for your kind comment. It means so much!

  4. 9 Brian Spector
    September 9, 2013 at 4:46 am

    I stumbled upon your blog this morning and really just have read your most recent blog, will go back and read more.
    I felt though that I needed to say now how fortunate your girls are to have you and yes I know your going to say you are the fortunate one.
    Please keep me posted as I go back and read more. I am intrigued and love to read how things evolve.
    Smile….you have a lot to smile about.
    Bspector@rogers.blackberry.net

    • September 12, 2013 at 8:15 pm

      I certainly am the fortunate one and you are absolutely right, I do have so much to smile about! I’m thankful! Those difficult days are wonderful reminders of how great everything is most of the time.


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