Archive for December, 2013

31
Dec
13

fear

Keta has started to save seeds, hoard seeds really.  At first I thought it was wonderfully curious.  She wanted seeds from all the citrus fruits in our grocery cart, mandarin oranges, navel oranges, grapefruit, tangerines and limes.  She remembered and was excited to compare the seeds when the time came at home.  I thought it was awesome to have this little scientist/gardener/inquisitive kiddo.  Then, a few weeks later I stumbled across her seed stash.  I think she has a pretty solid back up plan for the almost inevitable (to her) loss.   She’s learned that those seeds turn into food and life has taught her that food can be scarce.  I don’t know if her plan includes helping her family survive or if she sees herself alone and forced to care for herself.  Either way, she’s scared.  She told me recently that she wanted to save the rest of her meal “just in case the food runs out.”  Of course the follow-up was a conversation or two or ninety-two about completely foreign terms like forever, safety, stability, love, and family and the long list of family who would stop short of nothing to ensure food does not run out, among other things.  I’m hoping the high stress of the holiday season has brought on some of this fear.  I’m hoping that having a year and half with family has helped her gain a tiny bit of understanding of those foreign terms and has changed her view from knowing another abandonment is on the horizon to fearing that another abandonment might be.  The ultimate goal obviously is her knowing there will not be another abandonment.  Baby steps though.  She’s been home a year and a half.  That’s not even close to the amount of life she had before that.  She recovered pretty quickly when I told her I had accidentally vacuumed some of her seeds, but it wouldn’t surprise me to see the collection start to grow again.  She’s still scared.

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25
Dec
13

merry christmas!

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17
Dec
13

chit chat

I love that it’s not the fact that the pig is using a phone or wearing clothes or talking that bothers Keta, it’s the fact that the phone doesn’t reach from the pig’s ear to her mouth that gives it all away.

Mama, you has a student named Sebastian?!?  What about King Triton?  What about Prince Eric?  Mama, I can tell Cinderella is real ’cause there really is such a thing as mices and I can tell that Ariel is real too ’cause some people really has red hair and how does Simba grow all the way up in just one song?  He growed up so fast!  I don’t think that’s real.  Is it real Mama?  Mama, when I has a little girl I’m going to name her Rapunzel, but I like super heroes too so maybe Iron Man instead.  Mama, does Lindsay live on Earth too?  Mama, how does everyone fit?!?  Why it’s too cold or too hot to live on the other planets?  I like the planet Venus the best since we gets to see it the most or maybe Saturn since it has the pretty shiny rings.  Mama, which planet is your favorite planet?  Mama we has a friend at school and she has a grandma that lives in Congo and once my friend went to see her there.  Mama how did the stink lost his nose?  Mama, why when I spin and spin and spin and spin does I sometimes gets dizzy and fall down?  Mama, is the middle school the last school that kids go to?  Then why is it taking you so long to be done with the middle school and get a gradulations?

Thankfully for most of those I’m not given a chance to answer because pretty often I’d have to just say, “Keta, sweetie, I got nothin’.”

Turns out, the friend has a grandma who lives in a condo, not the Congo.  Practically the same thing.  And the stink without a nose she was talking about…  That turned out to be the sphinx.  When I told her Earth was my favorite planet she was really disappointed.  Mama, what’s so awesome ‘bout Earth?

Mama, watch me don’t use tip toes to wash my hands!

Mama!  Mama!  Mama!  Mama!

Mama, my boices sound funny.

Your voice doesn’t sound funny to me Francine, but does your throat have a tickle or hurt a little?

Nope.  Good night mama.

Mama, you’re the people that cooks the food and we’re the people that waits for the food.

No kidding.

Mama, you know what my baby did once?

Mama, you know what my baby did once?

Mama, you know what my baby did once?

Mama, you know what my baby did once?

Mama, you know what my baby did once?

Mama, you know what my baby did once?

Mama, you know what my baby did once?

Mama, you know what my baby did once?

Keta has started to make up wild and crazy or scary or funny dreams to tell us about at breakfast.  Remarkably, Francine always has almost the exact same dream!  She is 100% little sister.

Mama.  Mama.  Mama.  Mama.  Mama.  Mama.

Francine, I’m in the shower. Is this an emergency?

Yes.

Do you remember what an emergency is?

Yes.

Is this an emergency?

Yes, but nobody is bleeding or hurted or anything.

So I reduce my shower from three minutes 47 seconds to just shy of two and half minutes.

Mama!  That shower was so fast!

It was, Francine.  What’s the emergency?

Hi mama.

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07
Dec
13

most wonderful time of the year

So not true.  We are having some major malfunctions in the coping mechanism department.  I thought by now we’d kind of be settling into the family routine and parenting would just be regularly difficult with a little extra tough stuff during the stress of the holidays plus the occasional recurrence of complicated background issues.  Nope.  There’s all the regularly difficult stuff plus tons of this complicated background stuff making the stress of the holidays completely unmanageable.  I’ve been told I’m “just the babysitter.”  “I don’t like this family!” has been shouted along with “I don’t like this house and I don’t like my toys and I want to go live somewhere else!”  We’ve had floor punching and wall kicking and screaming for extended periods.  We’ve had a major increase in bickering and tattling.  We’ve had total breakdowns over things like buttons and toothpaste lids.  Skills that were once quite easy are now all but impossible, like using a fork.  Oh yes, there’s a countdown, but it’s not a countdown to that magical happy day, it’s a countdown to the day after when things can begin to return to normal.  Bah.  Humbug.

Just kidding.  Kind of.  I really do love Christmas and having these two rascals, I mean delightful and sweet children, to share it with is pretty amazing.  There’s a lot that happens to keep a mama going, like Ohio making Keta’s list of planets and Francine going from absolute terror when it comes to cats to bottle-feeding a little orphaned kitty.  There’s smiles and hugs and silly stories that don’t make any sense.  There’s more questions than I ever would have guessed a person could even think of and right now they’re asleep and it doesn’t seem like it could have been that bad.  Plus, it’s all pretty normal kid stuff that these two are feeling secure enough to express.  I’m still counting down though.

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