business as usual

We’re not there yet.  Keta went to her new school Friday, but just for a few hours.  Francine has been to her new school, but just with the safety and security of her big sis.  Monday, it’s our first real full day.  Three stops in two towns by 7:15 and then a race to do it all in reverse later in the day.  We are stressed.  Coping skills have plummeted.  I’ve been asked more times than I can count, “Mama, are you going to pick us up at the end of the day?”  “You’ll still be my mama, right?” is a popular one of late too.  We need to get through this week, our new business as usual.  Thankfully both Keta and Francine love school.  Keta met her teacher and saw her classroom.  They practiced drop off and pick up procedures and how to line up for lunch.  She was beyond excited to tell me every single detail and was hugely relieved.  She’s so excited to go back tomorrow.  Francine “didn’t know school could be so fun” but will be going it alone tomorrow, a first for her.  She’s not excited.  We also had a race issue at preschool last week.  Not one of those friendly and curious I love your beads, why is your skin dark and can I touch your hair kinds of things.  It was hate.  Pure unnatural ugly scary hate from a little guy no older than four.  That my child will spend her days somewhere she is not one hundred percent embraced and safe and welcomed and nurtured by all is such a sad and tragic reality.   I’m naive, but I really thought that kind of hate would only be an ugly truth at an older age.  Why are people teaching their babies to hate?  I guess that is now part of our business as usual too.  Hideous.

As a parent, I’m thinking of all the parents out there this week doing their best to help the littles with the new business as usual.  As a single parent, I’m thinking of all the single mamas and daddies struggling to figure out how to get it all done and be everything and everyone that the littles need.  Stay strong and Hang.  In.  There.  This business as usual stuff is tough.




4 Responses to “business as usual”

  1. August 26, 2014 at 3:47 am

    I read this entry yesterday and went on with my day; but I had to come back to say I feel very bad about the race thing. I had to come back because the sadness kept nagging at me. I don’t suppose I will feel any less sad, but this isn’t about me, it’s about you and your girls. So, if a hand resting on your shoulder helps, I’m glad.

  2. 3 Betty Goodin
    August 29, 2014 at 7:37 pm

    Out of 30
    0 million+ citizens, we have come a long way, but there will always be that small percentage to be so cruel and hurtful. I know your heart is taking a beating. My prayers for you and your precious little girls. May they learn and find friends that are compatible and haven’t been taught to hate.

    • September 14, 2014 at 2:45 pm

      Thanks for the prayers! Of course I knew hatred would be part of our lives. The reality of that is worse than the knowledge it’s on the way. Plus, they’re so young and so wonderful, what’s to hate?

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