Archive for September, 2015

07
Sep
15

the last one

As Keta and Francine become better aquatinted with the English language they make fewer of these funny and entertaining mistakes so, sadly, this could be the last one of these I do.

aim-chimpt echimpt = ancient Egypt

Princess Parapatra = Cleopatra, both K and F want to be for Halloween

rufus = ruthless, how we sometimes play marbles

eleventy-three = 113

Nancy Drool = Nancy Drew

Junie B. Jones = that lovable character in children’s books

Junie B. Jones = Jimmy Johns, the new sandwich shop in our town

Charlie Wompa = Willie Wonka

booby tracks = booby traps

get the heck out of dogs = get the heck out of Dodge

brat-roast = bratwurst

bratlers = bratwurst

buckwheat = bok choy

buck chop = bok choy

buck celery = bok choy

this leafy greenish stuff = bok choy

stick thing with fluff on it = make-up brush

pazoo = kazoo

teen-five = 15

perfavume = perfume

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07
Sep
15

walkie talkie 101

Parents of children who can often not be very far from you, I know you’d likely never do something like give your 5 and 6 year olds walkie talkies, but there might be someone in your lives who would.  Someone maybe like a granddad.  Or someone else maybe.  It’ll be the granddad.  Anyway, when this happens, stall as long as possible claiming to not have the right size of batteries and then, oh no, you forgot to pick them up at the store.  Again.  Sorry.  When you can stall no longer and finally give in to the inevitable yet nonspecific torture that will follow you’ll find the batteries really weren’t needed anyway.  One child will be at one end of the hall and the other at the other end near the front door.  You cannot escape to either end or the middle of the house and you know if you go downstairs or outside you’ll be followed.  You suggest walkie talkies are so much more fun  when you cannot see the other person so maybe one should go in the front yard and one in the back or maybe one in the back in the playhouse and the other in the back somewhere else, like on the patio or maybe even both of you in the playroom downstairs.  It’s important to be specific but in such a way they think it’s all their idea.  This of course will be rejected but they turn around so they can no longer see one another.  Thanks mama, it is more fun when we can’t see each other.  And it begins.

CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?

YES, I CAN HEAR YOU!!!!

MAMA, THEY REALLY WORK! I CAN HEAR HER!!

So can everyone else on the block.

This amazement and wonder will continue for some time.  You’ll be laughing or crying by now.  You’ll give a short lesson on when to push the button and when to not push the button and there’s no need to shout.

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?  DID YOU PUSH YOUR BUTTON? YOU NEED TO UNPUSH YOUR BUTTON!!

Now they’re still shouting and both at the same time.  Again, this continues for some time.  It’s a blast.

Lesson number 2 includes a refresher of lesson 1 and some new stuff like saying something specific when you’re done so the other person knows you’re done and that so important pause before you push the button and start shouting and one more thing, you don’t need to shout.

Once the newness wears off a bit they’re comfortable enough to be out of your sight so now one will be in the bedroom while the other is in the family room.  The shouting will continue.  Nothing can be done about the shouting.  Embrace the shouting.  Eventually the one in the bedroom will be distracted and completely forget about the walkie talkie.  This will cause the other to shout louder and louder when there’s no response.  You’ll have hope at this point she’ll think the walkie talkie is broken and become completely distracted too.  That won’t happen.  Remind yourself to laugh.  It really is funny that the loudest these two have ever been is when they’re eight feet away from one another using walkie talkies.  And they’re happy.  So it’s all good.  There’s no way to get even with the granddad, but think of it as one of those pay it forward situations.  It’s pretty funny now, but it will be so much funnier when it’s your grandkids.

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