Posts Tagged ‘Keta

03
Jun
15

gradulation

Keta “gradulated” from kindergarten and was pretty thrilled about it.   The class of 2027 sang a few songs and each was presented a completion certificate.  I was proud, and all too aware I’ll blink and be  watching the class of 2027 “gradulate” from high school.  I like to think that I’ll be sitting here on my patio that day in 2027 marveling about how quickly time flies and how proud I am.  We’ll compare a photo from that day to this one….

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29
Apr
15

keta’s even day

I can’t tell her about the day she was born. I can’t tell her about how old she was when she learned to walk or how much fun her first birthday was. I can’t tell her about her first tooth or her first word. I can agonize over that loss for her and for me and sometimes I do. Today though, we’re celebrating! We’re celebrating a made up family holiday, a once in a lifetime we’re even day! Although we know her DOB is not correct, it’s all we have so we go with it, and today, we’re even. She’s been with her forever family exactly as long as she was waiting, just over three years.  So even though we lost so much and so much is forever unknown we have this awesome holiday when the answer to this phenomenal little girl’s every request is, “Yes!” Today the only thing she’ll be agonizing over is where to have dinner and more importantly, what to choose for dessert.

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She knows that today she calls all the shots.  We can do anything, eat anywhere or cook anything.  She chose to walk the dogs along the river where she and her sister (and her four legged siblings) played and jumped and ran and got soaked.  She chose doughnuts for dessert, chocolate ones with sprinkles, and for dinner she chose Taco Bell.  We’ve never been so I don’t even know how she knows about Taco Bell, but Taco Bell it was.  She’s now enjoying a movie (ON A SCHOOL NIGHT!) and has had an amazing we’re even day.

27
Feb
15

happy 6th birthday keta!

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17
Feb
15

kind of perfect

Keta was telling me stories when we were cuddling before bed, princess stories. This is a girl who can describe a two second scene from a movie in 94 minutes or more. She can describe at length everything about everything with enough fluency to make you wonder if she actually knows what she’s talking about. No short stories or getting right to the point with this one. Having had enough of the princess stories I finally requested a story about a regular girl who did something extraordinary. Hmmmm, she says, like Laura and Mary? Nope, just a made up by Keta regular girl who did something extraordinary. Here’s her story….
This is about a girl named Keta who was adopted by her mama. She grew up and was, well, kind of perfect. The end.

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12
Feb
15

349 days

Keta has been looking forward to her birthday for exactly 349 days.  Since the day after her last birthday, 350 days ago, she’s been “’bout to turn six!” and she’s excited to inform anyone who will listen.

Keta — Mama, guess what!?

Me – Nothing, I’m rarely given an opportunity to respond verbally.  I’m making an excited and eager face to match hers.

Keta – I’m ‘bout to turn six!

On the phone with Bibi…

Keta – Bibi, guess what?!

Bibi – Starts to say something, but is interrupted in the middle of her too slow attempt.

Keta — I’m ‘bout to turn six!

This, for the last 349 days, with increasing frequency.

For me, it’ll be bittersweet when the birthday finally rolls around.  Not because of the absence of the, “Mama guess what I’m ’bout to turn six” thing.  That will be replaced with a new and improved version going something like, “Mama guess what I’m ’bout to turn seven!” but because she seems to be  getting older so quickly!  Soon she’ll be ready to tell me she’s ’bout to turn seventeen!

Here she is, ’bout to turn six!

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05
Dec
14

november

What happened to November?  It was December all week and all week I’ve wondered what happened to November.  On Tuesday it was the second day my girls needed little boxes on their advent calendars filled with some wonderful something and I had to sneak into their Halloween candy so they could happily open that little door with a 2 on it and squeal in delight at the treat that was just hours earlier stolen from them.  I wasn’t ready for it to be December.  I kind of don’t even remember it being November and now I’m afraid I’ll one day realize I kind of don’t even remember Keta and Francine being five.  Time.  Slow down.  Please.

Home about two and half days…. photo-3 I could not love Keta’s TWA more!  I would let her cut her hair in a minute.  She’d never in a million years.  She has one chunk-o-hair in the front that sticks straight up from being very frequently pulled down to her nose (or upper lip!) for length checks.  It’s getting long like Rapunzel mama!  We love her.

Home about two and a half years…. photo-4We’re at a hockey game and having a super time.  Bibi’s eyes are closed, of course.  I would have used another pic, but look at little Francine sitting there not blurry giving the impression she can sit still for two fractions of a second back to back.  She can’t.  We love her.

12
May
14

mother’s day

I’m thrilled to be a mother, love it.  Like being a mother, becoming a mother was extremely difficult in so many ways, but worth it in every way.  I’d do it again.  Millions of kids in need and all that.  Mother’s day can be a tough day for us, kind of like “Gotcha Day.”  We don’t celebrate that day, really, or call it Gotcha Day.  Let’s remember with excitement and enthusiasm the day you lost everything you knew!  Remember how traumatic and terrifying that was?  Let’s party!  We call it familyversary and we’re happy that day, but it’s low-key.  We tell the stories if they’re wanted that day and we have a special treat if it seems okay.  I remember that day as a much anticipated end to The Wait.  Joy!  I knew my daughters would be safe, or at least with me, their mama.  I’d finally get to know my children, who had for the first three years of their lives been absent from mine.  Joy!  But there was tremendous sadness and loss too.  These are the bravest, strongest, most resilient and trusting children, these kids with first mamas and forever mamas.  I cannot begin to express my awe.  It’s a good thing my two won’t read this until they’re older.  Yep, mama is in awe of you.  Now, get your elbows off the table and stop feeding the dogs your vegetables!  I’m in awe, but it’s real at our house.   Like our familyversary, mother’s day can be tough.
“A child born to another woman calls me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.” –Jody Landers
We all knew it was mother’s day.  K and F had worked on a surprise mother’s day gift at school that Francine had kept a secret for almost nine seconds.  I asked if they were thinking about their first mamas.  They said not really.  I was going to try to tell them that I was.  I was thinking about their first mamas.  One not given a choice, but the other trusting some unknown someone to care for and raise her baby.  I don’t know what her circumstances were or what led her to that decision, but it could not have been easy.  I was going to tell them that I knew their first mamas must have been smart and beautiful to have such smart and beautiful daughters.  I was going to tell them I knew their first mamas were strong and brave and that I thought of them often.  I was going to tell them, but I couldn’t.  Mother’s day can be tough.
Each of my daughters has a “first mama box.”  The boxes are for pictures or letters or whatever K and F want them to be for.  They’re not used that much yet and maybe won’t ever be, but they’re there for whatever purpose they might serve.  We don’t know much, but we want to love and honor our family’s first mamas.  A tragedy and a privilege.  We get it.
So, happy mother’s day to all the first mamas and all the forever mamas and all the waiting mamas, happy mother’s day to all the mamas!